Just Between Us (Entry Two) “After the Spell Breaks”

Just Between Us

Entry Two: “After the Spell Breaks”

I used to think intimacy meant keeping the flame lit.

Now I know it’s about not burning out.

Love, I’ve poured so much of myself into keeping things warm (with my partner) over the past 12 years. At times, I tried to be a mind reader, caretaker, therapist, and fantasy.. all while barely knowing how to tend to my own needs while juggling making, baking and raising kids, international moves & a global pandemic, disability diagnosis, and recession.

There were hot-and-heavy days (hello, early twin flame chaos).
There were disconnected years, when my mental health cracked open everything we built.
There were slow rebuilds, loving repairs, and yes, more cracks & repairs.

But lately, I’ve been asking: What if I stop trying to make us “hot” again.. and just focus on being whole?

When I’m thriving as a mom, a maker, a best friend, a sibling, a daughter, when I’m lit up in those spaces, I don’t need romance to prove I’m lovable. And that frees me up to want it again, on my own terms. No performance. No pressure.

The spell of “wifely duty” is broken, babe.
When I want to turn on, I will.
And until then? People can learn to light their own damn candles.

So, Love, tell me..
Where are you still performing love instead of feeling it?
What version of intimacy are you actually craving right now?

I’ll go first.

xx,
Allie

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