Just Between Us (Entry Four) “The Cost of Becoming”

Scary isn’t the enemy. It’s just the cost of becoming the human I want to be.

The other week, I took my oldest on a road trip to Cleveland for back-to-school manicures & haircuts at my friend’s salon, Verb, in Lakewood. Afterward we rented a dreamy little Airbnb in Tremont.. arched doorways, twinkle lights, the kind of spot that makes you want to linger. By the time we stopped at the market for dinner supplies and circled back to park, it was evening. Rain slicked the streets, locks were stubborn, and the bus stop across the way kept filling and emptying with strangers.

I took deep breaths. I felt the fear, but I also felt my own sturdiness. If something happened, I’d figure it out. I always do. So I pulled up my big-girl panties (I packed the fun ones), kept it light, & made it fun for us. My rainbow child and I laughed our way up the wet sidewalk, arms full of groceries. Special one-on-one time carved out of the chaos.

That moment reminded me how precious my presence is. If I can be brave there, I can be brave again and again. It’s why I protect my capacity so fiercely. My work stays in its lane. Parenting gets the best of me. My partner, my friends, they get the warmth and attention they deserve. And me? I get sleep, yoga, movement, laughter, nourishment. I give myself the best first, actually.

Showing up this way isn’t always easy, and yes, it’s a little scary. But it’s paying off. My life feels exciting. My energy feels sacred. And the relationships I’m building—the ones that match the human I’m becoming, they’re deeper, richer, & more intentional than ever.

So these days, I don’t spill. I pour. And only where it’s received. And when I pour, it’s worth savoring.

xx,
Allie

✨ This column is brought to us by Together Textiles—my creative space and lovechild, dedicated to my firstborn who passed in 2017. His spirit fuels every fiber.

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